Tasty AF, LE Franks

Christian came out with guns blazing only to retreat into misery when his nasty ex became a vindictive jerk.  Their bit of "patching things up" at the end was a nice thought, but I don't know that it provided the closure Christian needed.  It would have been best to just leave it be and have him find happiness in just being happy with what he created on his own out of the shadow of his ex no matter how much work went into his past.

Andy's issue worked for the story...in theory.  The way it was written in was overly dramatic and made Andy, who started out endearing and straightforward in his interest, into someone self-righteous, selfish, and judgmental.  He turned out to be someone who had way more emotional investment into something that wasn't his fault and then he put all his damage onto Christian.

Their first date started out cute and everything that led up to that point had potential, but when Andy did what he did and then got maudlin and proceeded to bail on Christian after a bit of good conversation and a sweet kiss only to find a hand job hook up a couple days later at a club left me completely reeling.  WTF was uttered over and over.  And then the scene in Powell's...first with the journals, unnecessary and weird, then with the coffeeshop, out of place and too philosophical and depressing, all to culminate with him treating Christian badly, yet again, without real provocation, only perceived, and he didn't even let Christian explain.  But then that bit ended up with sexy flirting?  I was tossed all over the place wondering what in the eff was supposed to be going on.

Christian started off okay but gained presence, Andy started off great but quickly died a quick death in my mind.  I didn't really believe in their relationship because it seemed Christian was the only one trying to understand and include Andy in every facet.  When Andy made his grand gesture it was sweet, I'll give it that, but his presence was so very diminished by that point that it just wasn't enough to save him in the end for me.

This story had an interesting premise that I was absolutely all in for, but the finished product was severely lacking.  For a republished story it wouldn't have hurt the author to find a beta reader (there are dozens and dozens of us that do this for free) to give some objective advice before republishing.

*$3.99 on Amazon