Seeing Beyond the Scars: The Manx Cat Guardians Book 1, J P Sayle

With so much pain and trauma surrounding these men it's a wonder either of them could fully admit what they wanted and make a go of it.  It was so hard to read not only because it felt very long-winded, but because of how much angst each of the characters felt.  I really struggled with this one until we got to the end.  I don't know how the author does it, but at the end I feel like I need more no matter how much I wasn't into most of the story.  It's that conflict that's utterly confusing and yet compelling.

Martin's paranoia was confusing.  Like he kept having to look over his shoulder for a stalker of some kind that was never fully explained.  With the intrusive and shady neighbor I could understand it, but it was the notion that there was something in his past in the city that led to his reactions rather than just his stint in the military.  And for his interest in the house across the street to rush right to an incredibly unsettling amount of lust...I just felt uncomfortable with his thoughts.  I didn't feel that they were genuine, nor was any of the discovery of all that is Brad.  Martin did grow in the story, but honestly it wasn't until the last maybe, 10% of the book?  Most of what we get is a lot of lusty thoughts rather than anything to build an emotionally mature relationship.  And the way he conducted his business with his secretary was disappointing to say the least.  She was also an unnecessary complication to not just his relationship with Brad, but to the story's plot.

Brad made me ache over and over again.  His drama and trauma was huge and his coping mechanisms were insufficient.  I felt so bad for him and kept hoping that he would learn about himself, find his inner strength that wasn't reliant on Martin, and find ways to truly heal from his past.  Discovering what he likes sexually was interesting, but without all the emotional stuff to back it up, it felt hollow rather than transformative.

As for Princess, I still have weird feelings about a cat with voyeuristic tendencies and very human reactions to physical intimacy.  While I get that they're guardians and guide soulmates together, they're still very much cats even if they have a much higher level of intelligence and reasoning.  I also don't know that I liked how she "handled" Brad.  I was hoping for something more consistent, but it was more like watching an adolescent be in charge of Brad because she had the temperament of a cat yet thought like someone much more mature at times.  I just didn't connect with her at all.

So while this review totally sounds like I didn't like the book, you'd be kinda right.  But through it all I hoped for love, I hoped for resolution, I hoped for healing.  The ending was almost worth the slog through all the angst and then when I finally got to the actual ending, I knew I was absolutely going to read more in the series.  Confusing as freak to feel that way at the end, but there it is.  The author has some kind of magic, I guess.

*$3.99 on Amazon or FREE on KU

Living in a quiet, controlled world, Brad Cummings does everything he can to not dwell on his traumatic past. Staying hidden, unaware that fate is about to turn his life upside down. A new neighbour has Brad questioning everything about his life and his feelings. Coming to terms with his new life, Brad has no idea something sinister lurks, watching and waiting to steal his happiness and drag him back into the horrors of his past.

Martin Clegg was dissatisfied with his life, he finds himself drawn to a small island off the Irish Sea, but the draw to the mysterious house across the way is even stronger. A new business, a new house, a new neighbour who just may be the reason for the pull Martin felt. Everything about Brad calls to Martin, but Brad's past seems to stand between them. Can Martin protect his heart when he is also worried about protecting Brad from the evil that surrounds them? 

Guardian cats walk this earth, there to protect—if you are fortunate enough to be blessed by the fates. Princess is one such cat. As far as Brad knows, she is his quirky little cheeky black cat. 
Princess is sworn to hide her secret about her real nature. But when Brad finds himself in danger Princess breaks all the rules that govern her. Will there be consequences for her actions, only time will tell.