Where I Am, Michelle Dare

When what you see isn't what you thought you saw but you spend years angsting over it it's time to ask yourself if you can really believe your own eyes.  Astoria and Parker were deeply in love despite her being so young and one moment crushed it all.  Or so she thinks...  Astoria returns home to Arrow Falls after a four-year hiatus and runs into the man that broke her.  Their reunion is far from ideal but Parker is determined that Astoria will hear him, hear the truth.  Confession can't erase the past, but maybe it can give them a fresh start.

Astoria was young when she met Parker.  She fell hard and fast and just before leaving for college she catches him doing something inconceivable.  With tears streaming down her face and shouting her pain she runs away.  The next four years at college give her experience, growth, and time away.  What it doesn't do is erase Parker from her heart.  She wants closure but her heart doesn't want to give up.

I like her despite her youth.  She's so stubborn that it seems like she wants to live with her grief and anger.  Her youth doesn't allow her perspective or patience to see that there's always two sides to the story.  It doesn't allow her hindsight to speak sense to what she's determined to believe.  Outside of that flaw she's kind, caring, forgiving, loving, and devoted.  I enjoy watching her show her true colors when she finally accepts the truth.  She's also very honest.  When she speaks up and gives Parker all of her, including sharing her thoughts and goals knowing that they might not be what he wants to her I'm impressed by her maturity.  She also doesn't pout or become stubborn to the point of not listening to his concerns or desires for their future.  She's determined to be a true partner to Parker.

Parker is enchanted by Astoria.  He falls hard and fast for the young girl that almost side-swiped his expensive ride.  When his heart is torn in two directions the one most pressing is also the one that shattered his love.  Standing by what he had to do even if it cost him Astoria he strives to make a new life for himself.  Finding no woman to take her place in his life he makes do with a stream of women in his bed.  None bring him peace, happiness, or even a desire for a repeat.  And then he sees her.  Astoria is home and his new purpose is to make her hear the truth and to get her back.

I enjoyed his sincerity.  He struggled quite a lot after Astoria took off and I don't really blame him for the way he lived his life after that.  What I loved was that it was like it was completely over.  The time between meant nothing and there was no angst from the relationships either of them had in the interim.  From the moment he saw her in her car until they were back together there was no one but her.  His devotion to her was incredible and passionate and the forever kind.  He understood her need for space and time before they resumed what they had before the Big-Mis.  The way he also treated his friends was more than admirable.  I was expecting something to instill doubt but there was nothing.

That nothing was perfect for their relationship because it gave them absolutely no obstacles to taking all the steps necessary to build something new, clean, and deeper than ever before.  What did come at them, however, was a bigger drama than I expected.  I had no clue, none whatsoever, about what was coming for them and their friends.  It was incredibly intense and violent where I was only anticipating male/female conflict and angst.  There was some of that, for sure, but the external factor that initially caused it was what grew and took on a life of its own.  It pulled in everyone and threatened all of them.  Evil came for them all and met a bloody, horrific end.

Another thing I wasn't expecting was a lot of life after that point.  Where most novels would end with the huge dramatic event and an emotional descent where a heartening resolution brings the MC's together and gives hope for their HEA, we get a long way into Parker and Astoria's HEA.  We get to see the healing, the changes, the growth, the families, the love all get to a solid point before the words "The End."  I both liked it and found myself constantly checking to see how many pages I still had to read before the end.  It was also a bit over the top.  But one thing I will say about it, it gave a better picture of how family, love, and counseling are all essential to moving above and beyond tragedy and horror.  It was good, happy, passionate, sexy, uplifting; the kind of ending we all hope for.

*99¢ on Amazon!

*Cy and Eve may be devoted now,

but they didn't start out that way.

Read their story in Where I End...

Eve
Pretentious. Arrogant. Condescending. Cruel.
All words I'd used to label him. Exactly what I’d always believed he was. All that changed one spring morning when I realized I didn't know the man behind the facade at all.

Angry. Desperate. Broken. Mine.
All words I'd use to define him after I interfered. Once our eyes locked, I was all in. There was no turning back. He tried to push me away, but I refused to let him go. I was determined to save him. What I didn't expect was that he would save me, too.

Cy
I was so close to ending my misery. Mere seconds away. Then she stumbled upon our argument, and I changed my plans. She wasn't supposed to be there. She knew too much. Even with my entire world burning down around me, she wouldn't walk away.

I’ve always been on my own. No one had ever fought for me before. Why should anyone start now? But she did, no matter how much I tried to stop her. I knew I was nothing, unworthy of her, but she was persistent. Once she got under my skin, I couldn't let her go, because where I end, she begins.