Blackbird Fly Home, Kendel Duncan

Sometimes life will surprise you

Sometimes it will disappoint you

Sometimes it will kick you in the balls

Sometimes it will make you so happy you feel like you can fly

And sometimes, just sometimes, it will do all of those things.

The kick in the balls, both literally and figuratively, happened to Noah Pierce a long time ago. Ten years to be exact, when, to cap off a brutal and horrendous four-year relationship with the man who claimed to love him, that man buried a butcher knife in his side. It was the final wound in a seemingly endless cycle of bruises, cuts, breaks, sprains and other things that sent him to the hospital. He thought he was going to die. But when he opened his eyes in that ER room and saw a stranger with kind yet determined eyes looking back at him and with his boyfriend nowhere in sight, Noah knew that life was going to change for him. And it did.

For ten years he was stronger, he was better, he was……hollow.

He didn’t realize that last part until he saw one man. One pair of haunting blue eyes beside the very man who had ruined Noah all those years ago. One pair of frightened eyes. One pair of hollow, hopeless eyes that Noah couldn’t have walked away from if he tried…because someone else hadn’t walked away from him all those years ago.

Noah didn’t realize it at the time, but by saving Jesse Miller from the clutches of his ex, he was going to learn to fly…

There's a real worry that these two will jump from the frying pan into the fryer.  They do.  In more ways than one, actually.  Both of these men are damaged, hurting, and trying their best to cope with what life has thrust on them.  Noah is a decade removed from his nightmare until he comes face to face with it in a crowded bar.  But it's not the man of his past that has him frozen, it's the blue eyes of the man's new victim.  Unable to walk away when he should be running with all-due haste, he resolves himself to his fate.  Determined to save Jesse from his tormentor, he sets up a rescue and an escape.  But not everything goes to plan.

The two men suddenly become codependent and I don't think it's particularly healthy, but despite that glaring problem, they are actually perfect for one another.  It took a monster to bring them together and will take an act of God to separate them.  Unfortunately, that monster thinks of himself as God and does everything within his power to do just that.  Noah and Jesse have the support of Morgan and his entire team, though, so they won't be left alone to face their mutual tormentor.

Noah and Jesse jump straight into the deep end with their relationship.  There's really no superficial or surface things that they indulge in when getting to know one another.  I think this is an oversight and it would have increased my enjoyment if there were a moment or few of lightness and seeing these two men spending time being just me instead of having their growing feelings being swirled around with and nearly drowned by fear, apprehension, reassurances, and dredging up past hurts.

That aside, I think that there's immense healing and potential to be had by these two.  When they resolve their past they can move forward.  I really like that Jesse is the one to save Noah because despite needing Noah's rescue in the beginning, Noah has had an entire decade to repress and avoid all the darkness in him allowing it to grow and eclipse the hope his heart truly yearns for.  With Jesse's love and a well-timed and honest threat Noah makes the changes necessary for true and lasting healing to fix him.  They're a good pair.

Overall, this was an intense book that jumped from crisis to crisis yet had a hopeful, lighter resolution for Jesse and Noah.  Ending with the bombshell for Ten made for a great opening to the next book in the Doyle Global Security series.